


Fare Thee Well

by Nuria123



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, I'm Sorry, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Thor Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 11:06:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17579657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nuria123/pseuds/Nuria123
Summary: Thor loved Loki, from the moment Loki had been placed in his arms had he loved him.And Thor would always love him to the very bitter end, and bitter it was. But maybe it even could be called bittersweet.





	Fare Thee Well

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this came from, but I was feeling down, and Avenger IWs soundtrack was suddenly playing in the background and yeah...

Thor loved Loki, from the moment Loki had been placed in his arms had he loved him.

Through everything, they always stuck with each other, when training got tough, when their lessons were boring. They always stuck together.

Thor remembered well their first kiss, a peck on Loki’s cheek, but the stupid brat had turned his head and Thor had pecked his lips instead. And they had laughed, Thor because of his embarrassment, and Loki of him. But Thor still smiled at the memory.

 How old had they’d been then? When their youth still sat within them and the innocence still shone in their eyes? They could maybe be a few decades old, maybe even be in their first. Thor was never so sure of his memory anymore. Every little memory blurred together.

 He also remembered when their little innocent kisses changed, how their looks suddenly changed. Their eyes beginning to see the world, experimenting with boundaries, playing on the edge of bad and good. They had begun to mature, training with wooden swords and then meeting up in the stables and waited for their instructor. Loki had been the one to look, look at Thor in a way he never had been before. How the golden sun shone down on his hair and the way his eyes crinkled with an untamed storm. Thor had turned towards him, and Thor himself got the same look. Like he too suddenly noticed how pretty and handsome Loki really was. His slender face, with the soft features he still had from the youth clinging to him, his green-blue eyes and that deep black hair. And neither of them knew who did what but suddenly their lips had met, and Thor had cradled Loki’s head in his hands. Wanting more, needing more, his hand only went as far as to behind his neck before they both heard hooves pounding on the ground. And Thor had only managed to step so far away and not take his hand away from Loki’s neck while their confused eyes met when their instructor showed up. They had avoided each other for days on end after that.

Thor still had felt like he needed more. More of Loki.

 And after that, they had begun their secret ‘affair’.

They both knew their relationship would never be a reality for the future, but they did not care. Whispered in the night of travelling far away and never to return, Frigga was still young, and she could definitely birth another heir.  And Thor had nodded along kissing Loki’s shoulder while they had lounged in front of a fire on a hunting trip. They would run far away with each other and never return, say farewell to royal titles and everything that came with them. Thor had said and he promised Loki that.

It was Thor who started to change first. Seeking out his father and started learning the meanings of and kingship, becoming arrogant to the world as the royalty got to his head. He had power, he had strength. He could wield the hammer, he was worthy.

 Loki had been seething, fraying at the edges when it started to happen, their nights together became scarce, Loki was kept with his mother to learn her ways with Seidr. A woman’s gift the books said about Seidr. Healers and warriors bearing the gift of Seidr and on Asgard it seemed to be a disappointment that the second prince didn’t have the same strength as the golden prince called Thor. So, Loki started growing up to his title. God of mischief and Lies. He began to scheme, luring people with words, pranks that were a tad too violent. It kept him sane, it kept him away from the roaring jealousy he had for Thor. It made him what he was, he was Loki of Asgard God of mischief and Lies and nothing more. Cast into the shadows of his own brother and lover.

Thor and Loki were still close when they reached 800, even if the strain on their relationship was starting to be unbearable. They still loved each other so intensely, they drifted from each other and then was forced back together by powers unknown to them. Making them crash against each other, mouths locked together, tongues fighting, hands ripping at each other’s clothes. They had always this fierce love, that could never be lost. Even if they had to go through Ragnarök together they would still fall in each other’s arms wanting that fierce love they always would have. They never meant that to be so true.

 Because true it was, the stirrings in the universe were just lurking, in the deep abyss of the void. And when Loki had sabotaged the coronation, all in good intentions, of course, banishing his brother so Thor could go and fall in love with someone else, and had made the discovery of his heritage everything began to fall to pieces. Thor remembered the look on Loki’s face as he let go. The grief he felt when Loki vanished from sight. The rain that drowned the city of Asgard. The sheer amount of grief one could have from one person slipping away.

But as much as they drifted apart, they always found themselves crashing back together. That time though was not a time Thor liked to think about. The wounded look in Loki’s eyes, the madness that was in his heart, and the infinity stone in the sceptre had made Thor so confused on what to do. And the only thing he knew was that Loki needed to “come home”.

 It was worse the second time when Loki died in Thor’s arms. This time, Thor had thought, Loki is truly dead. And he had believed so for long years, now his mother was dead too, and they got to bury her in the proper Asgardian fashion. With Loki in a cell far away from the last time Thor would see his mother. Drifting off into the abyss on a boat. He himself didn’t want to think about what felt worse, finding his brother being his father, and said father dying mere hours later, or that Ragnarök had started.

The chaos when Hela had attacked Asgard, the feeling of dread when she came ever so closer to the rainbow bridge where now, the rest of the Asgardian population was standing, hoping for salvation or a painless trip to Valhalla. Loki had come then too, he was their saviour. He indeed caused Ragnarök, but they had been saved.

Or so he had thought.

Thor still felt the fire around him sometimes, the despair and the smell of death. He remembers the blue glow of the tesseract and the last words Loki had said. “The sun will shine on us again.” The pain he felt in his own body. This was it, the titan would win. But in the end, Thor only felt worse when Loki interjected, standing there in front of the titan pledging his undying fidelity. Thor had made a mistake with his words, he still hated himself for it. Because he saw the grip on Loki’s throat, the way the actual snap of a broken neck could be heard, even if Thor tried to scream. It was too much.

Three times is the charms they said.

And Thor had crawled over to the lifeless body, cried as the explosions went off around them. This was it, Thor thought, we are going to die here, in the remains of everything we know, in the shadows and ashes of the great life they had lived. They had made mistakes, but Thor would live through everything one more time to have Loki in his arms breathing.

Thor never meant to be alive, never meant to help the Avengers in their quest for revenge. Thor had nothing, he had lost everything. His everything died in the ship by the Titan's hands. It had helped a little when the decimation had been reversed when earth finally could begin to build up whatever was left. Grieve for the truly lost ones and celebrate the titan’s fall. It had also helped when Valkyrie and the remaining Asgardians stepped on earths soil.

 Thor had asked the rabbit to take him back to where he was found, and there he had found Loki. Paler and frozen as space usually did that to living things. But he had been spared much damage and had been preserved well enough to be properly grieved for.

Thor had stood next to the boat, underneath the cliffs where their father had died. And he had turned around and held a speech of his brother, his lover, his everything. And he had pushed him out into the waters, seeing the golden ashes spread with the wind as thunder grumbled slowly in the background. The rest of the Asgardians feeling the grief the god of thunder felt, the world would soak in the rain as sorrow buried itself deep in Thor’s heart.

“My brother let us meet in Valhalla when the norns find me worthy to reunite me with you again. And we shall run and find a place where only us will live, just like I promised.” His words caught in the winds as tears silently slipped down his cheeks, the rain had also begun to weep their own tears down on earth.

“Fare thee well, my Loki”

**Author's Note:**

> (( if anyone want anything tagged, please say and I will tag, I have no clue what I needed to include so if anything in here is very triggering please let me know :) ))
> 
> My twitter @Nuria12441 and tumblr @Nuria1244


End file.
